


The Shadow of Your Smile

by AndiinaRaethTash



Series: When All We Had Was Eternity [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hugs, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice, Sighted Kanan Jarrus, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-22 21:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19680094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiinaRaethTash/pseuds/AndiinaRaethTash
Summary: Saudade: a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved then lost; "the love that remains."Six months after Malachor, Kanan is finally out in the field again. But when a transmission throws everything he thought he knew into doubt, he learns he might not be as alone as he thought he was.





	1. Message

**Author's Note:**

> I have a problem writing chronologically, so this was actually the first part that I wrote. Then parts one and two, then part five, then part three, then part six, and then I went back and edited the crap out part one. So, yeah, my writing process is weird.

Ryder Azadi glanced at the young man standing in front of the holocamera. “You sure you want to do this?”

He huffed softly. “I have to. This needs to be said.”

Ryder nodded, turned to the controls in front of him, and activated the hack. As Imperial broadcasts were suddenly hijacked, he turned back to the young man, who took a deep breath and spoke.

________

He was piloting the  _ Ghost _ back to Atollon from a milk run when it happened.

“Kanan!”

The Jedi started as Hera's voice echoed through the  _ Ghost _ . The Twi'lek didn't sound angry, more urgent, and he felt a swirl of disbelief and impossible hope in the Force around her. Standing from the pilot's seat, Kanan hurried through the ship to reach the common room where the rest of the crew was waiting.

Hera was frozen in place in the middle of the room, and barely glanced at Kanan when he arrived. Sabine was sitting on the crash coach with Ahsoka, their eyes wide, and Zeb was standing beside the dejarik table. Chopper was projecting the image of a young humanoid in front of the ladder. The person was wearing a dark tunic with a hood that covered his head, knee-high boots, leggings, and a utility belt. He was slight, in a way that indicated that he was either young or hiding the fact that he was actually female, and held himself in a way that reminded Kanan of a soldier. A mask- which strongly resembled a sentinel's mask- covered his face, and probably disguised his voice. It was when he spoke that Kanan's brain stopped working.

“I grew up on Lothal.” The person was obviously using a voice scrambler, but the cadence was familiar, even if the pitch was too low, and he was definitely male. Which meant he had to be little more than a boy.  _ Just like- _ Kanan cut the thought off before it could finish. He forced himself to pay attention to the speaker, who was still talking.

“Most of you probably haven't heard of it; it's a backwater planet somewhere between something interesting and nothing at all. There are no rare natural resources, or ancient marvels, or anything of any real worth. 

“The Empire has it in a chokehold anyway. I used to look up at the sky and only see Star Destroyers and TIE fighters. The streets are filled with orphans who hide in alleyways from Stormtroopers, and have to steal- or worse- to eat. Even the kids who are lucky enough to still have their parents and their homes are in constant fear, terrified that one day the Empire will decide to imprison their family and blow up their homes, erasing any record of their existence. Farms are forcibly taken from hardworking families so the Empire can build mines and factories to strip our world of its resources and its beauty.

“A year and a half ago, a young man named Ezra Bridger sent out a message to the people of Lothal, asking them to fight, to take a stand for what they believe in. The people listened, even when the Empire blew up the radio tower he was broadcasting from. They listened, and they fought. They stood up for their beliefs, for their freedom, and for their families. Because of one boy, who was barely fifteen.

“Ezra Bridger is no longer with us.” At the words, Hera stifled a sob behind her hand, but she didn't tear her eyes off of the holo. “He went down fighting to protect his friends and his family. So instead, I'll repeat his message, this time to the galaxy as a whole.

“Don't just let the Empire win. Stand up.  _ Fight. _ Maybe not with blasters, you can fight in smaller ways. Turning a blind eye to a wanted rebel, letting someone who the Empire is chasing hide in your house, even just giving food to the people that the Empire has given up on. Every little bit helps, and every choice we make now affects the future that our children will inherit. 

“And I don't know about you, but I don't want my children to grow up like this, afraid to say anything, afraid that one day I'll vanish and they'll never know what happened to me. I want them to be free.

“There will be casualties. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. But better a few hundred thousand casualties now than the billions of lives the Empire will take if we don't fight back.

"Ezra Bridger was right about one thing: we can't do this on our own. We have to stand together. The smallest act of kindness, a single blaster in a battle, a few words passed to the right ear, they can make all the difference in the galaxy. And to get them, we'll need all of you."

The speaker paused as if gathering his thoughts, and Sabine took the opportunity to mutter, “He's held the airways longer than I thought he could. The Empire should have shut him down by now.”

Zeb shushed at her as the figure spoke again.

“I'm speaking directly to the Empire now. You can't stop us. Sure, you can hunt down individuals, torture us, kill us, blow up our bases and scatter our forces, but you'll never beat us. There will always be someone else to pick up this fight, because we fight for freedom, family, and a future so bright your darkness will never be able to overcome it. 

“Go ahead, try to silence me. Strike back at the rebels, impose curfews and laws, forbid anyone to repeat my words. It won't work. The harder you try to shut me up, the farther the rumors will spread, and the more people will stand up with me, to fight against your precious Empire. 

“So, yeah, go ahead. Hunt me down, try to kill me, put a bounty on my head. You won't find me, I'm a  _ spectre _ . Your reign of terror is coming to an end, and I've already won.”

At his last words, something metallic whizzed through the air from behind the camera, landing in the boy's hand. A familiar  _ snap-hiss _ rang from the projection, and Kanan started as a blade, visibly red even through the blue of the hologram, cut through the holocamera, leaving the room in tense silence.

_______

Back in the impromptu recording booth, Ryder sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Was that necessary? That was a perfectly good holocam.”

The young man huffed a laugh as he sheathed his lightsaber and stepped away from in front of the camera. “No. But I thought the Empire might approve of my theatrics.” 

Ryder shook his head as the younger man pulled off the hood and mask that had disguised his features. “Yes, but you also gave part of the game away. And you could have at least warned me.”

The young man laughed, a cheery and innocent sound compared to the scars on his face. “What, did I startle you?”

“Yes,” Ryder huffed. “And I really think you should be more worried about how the Empire will retaliate.”

With a sparkle in his once-deep blue eyes, the boy grinned sharply, staring in Ryder's direction. “Oh, they'll try to retaliate. I won't let them.”


	2. Mind

Hera was the first to break the silence. 

“That couldn't have been him.” Her voice shook, and Kanan could feel the waves of grief, disbelief, and a trembling hope radiating off of her. “You said he was killed on Malachor, there's no way it could be…”

Kanan managed to find his voice. “There was no body,” his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat to try again. “There was no body, and no way to know if he was in the temple when it collapsed.”

Sabine shook her head. “If that was Ezra, he'd have contacted us by now. And he's already been on Imperial airwaves, so he wouldn't disguise his voice. And he wouldn't have hidden his face. Not from us.” She was nearly shouting now, emotions leaking into the Force and tears audible in her voice.

“I agree with Sabine,” Zeb said, his voice sounding oddly strangled. “Ezra would have found us by now.”

Kanan opened his mouth to say something, but Ahsoka beat him to the punch. “ _ Spectre. _ He called himself a  _ spectre, _ not a ghost.” She met Kanan's eyes. “It's possible…”

“No, it's not!” Sabine yelled as she bolted to her feet, glaring at Kanan, Ahsoka, and Hera. “Why do you think it is? It's just gonna hurt like losing him again when you come to your senses and realize that  _ Ezra is dead. _ ”

Her voice broke on the last word and she practically fled out of the room to her quarters. Silence filled the space she left behind. After a few minutes, Zeb sighed.

“Listen, Kanan, Hera, I know you want it to be him. Kriff,  _ I _ want it to be him. But I can't keep praying for miracles. Sooner or later, it's… it's just gonna drive you insane.” With that, he turned and headed out towards the cargo hold.

Hera turned to Kanan, tears shining in her eyes. Something twisted in his stomach, because he hadn't seen her look that lost since Ahsoka and Kanan had come back from Malachor without the boy that both Jedi and Captain viewed as a son.

“Do you think it could be him?” She whispered. 

Kanan heaved a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. “I don't know. It could be, but… they're right. If it's not him, it'll be like losing him all over again. I don't think either of us could take that.”

Hera nodded, looking down at the floor for a minute before straightening, squaring her shoulders and wiping the tears from her eyes. “You're right. The Empire's going to crack down harder now. We should get ready for that.” With that, the Twi'lek marched through the ship to the cockpit.

Kanan watched her go and sighed. The Force was turbulent, the crew's emotions making it impossible for him to focus. Behind him, Ahsoka stood slowly, and he turned to her, the question obvious on his face. She sighed and gave her reply.

“I don't know, Kanan. It is possible, he kind of sounded like him and the build was right, but in my experience, this kind of miracle doesn't just  _ happen _ . I don't think it's a trap, but still… you need to be cautious with your emotions. Don't let them cloud your judgement.”

Kanan nodded dejectedly, then slowly made his way to his room. He had to pass Sabine's closed door, and he could hear the quiet sound of sobs from behind it. He sighed and resolved to comfort her later. Right now, he needed to center himself.

He closed the door behind him and slowly knelt in the center of the bare room. He didn’t have a whole lot of memorabilia, and thus rarely left any clutter lying about. There was one exception. A few twisted bits of metal and electronics sat on his dresser, surrounding a twinkling blue Kyber crystal: the remains of Ezra's lightsaber.

Kanan caught himself staring at the heap of parts and sighed, forcing himself to close his eyes. Quieting his mind, he reached out through the Force, and tried to calm his emotions. Fear swirled around him, dark and suffocating, because  _ what if that was Ezra and Kanan had left him there? If that was true, would Ezra blame him? Would he hate him?  _ But focusing on that would do him no good, so Kanan took a deep breath and released the emotion into the Force, only to focus on the heavy grief weighing him down. 

Because Ezra was gone. There had been no doubt in Kanan's mind, he had felt Ezra's pain and fear before the bond between Master and Padawan had been abruptly severed. The temple had collapsed on top of the boy, and the only thing they'd been able to bring back was the crushed remains of his lightsaber. Now, though…

Kanan exhaled and purged the grief from his heart. It did no good to focus on the past, and Ezra would want him to be happy. Besides, there was now the distinct possibility that Ezra was still alive.

The impossible hope bloomed within him, and he held onto it for just a moment, content with the possibility of seeing the boy he cared about so much again. Seeing his carefree smile, hearing his mischievous laugh, running his hands through the kid's ridiculous hair. It was a good dream, but after the moment passed, Kanan acknowledged that it was just a dream and swept the hope away. 

Next was the anger that burned in his heart, because  _ how dare _ Sabine and Zeb just give up on Ezra like that? How  _ dare _ they presume that Ezra couldn't have pulled off a last-minute escape? How dare they  _ want  _ him to be dead? Only, that wasn't fair to them. Of course they didn't want their little brother to be dead. They just didn't want to feel the hope that he was alive shrivel and die in their hearts. They didn't want to feel that pain again. So Kanan released the anger, leaving the ocean of guilt in its place.

Because whether or not Ezra was alive, this was Kanan's fault. If Ezra was alive, then Kanan hadn't stayed, had instead given up on him and abandoned him. If Ezra hated him for it, he wouldn't be surprised. It would hurt, but he deserved it. And if Ezra was actually… was not alive, then that was Kanan's fault, too. He hadn't trained him well enough, had abandoned him to face a Sith alone, had brought him into this fight in the first place. Either way, Ezra's fate was  _ his fault _ .

For another minute, Kanan let himself wallow in his guilt and self-loathing before wrapping that up in a package and shoving it into the Force. Finally calm, Kanan focused on the flow of the Force around him, trying to lose himself in its currents. For a while, he let himself float along, sensing the bright lights that were his crew, his family, around him, seeing but not really feeling their emotions.

Zeb was numb as he cleaned his bo-rifle in the hold. He obviously was shaken by the transmission, and was trying to decide how to feel about it. Ahsoka in her room was focusing on reports, trying to contain the damage the message could have caused. However, Kanan could see the tiny, delicate hope that maybe,  _ maybe _ she hadn't failed after all. In the cockpit, Hera was all durasteel walls and laser-sharp determination, just trying to do her job and keep what was left of her family safe. Sabine was a tight ball of grief and guilt curled up in her room, the sadness heavy around her. She had been the last to accept that Ezra was gone, and the fact that she'd given up hope at all was clearly eating away at her. 

Kanan took another deep breath and sunk further into the Force. Reaching out, he could feel the faint bonds that connected him to his makeshift family, none of them strong enough in the Force for the connection to be anything but an empathic link on his part, but just feeling them there was enough for him. With another deep breath, he pushed deeper into the Force, only to cry out as something latched onto his mind.

It felt like a Force-grip. There was no way to escape it, no wiggle room; he was pinned by a Force presence that was simultaneously alien and familiar. The hold shifted as he struggled against it, bringing all his willpower to bear as he tried to escape. He was aware that in the physical world he was screaming, but all he could focus on was the feeling of the Force presence smothering him as it looked for something on the surface of his mind.

It happened in the space of a heartbeat. One minute he was still struggling, trying desperately to escape the hold, the next the hold was just gone, and he fell forward, catching himself on his hands. As he braced himself, he became aware of two things: the first, several voices around him, fear and concern obvious in their tones as they circled him and soothingly rubbed his back.

The second was the bond that had snapped back to life in his mind.

Shock stole Kanan's ability to breath as he tentatively poked his end of the bond, tracing it back to a muted Force presence on Lothal. Quietly, and more hesitant than he ever remembered being, he whispered through it,  _ ‘Ezra?’ _

The reply was instantaneous.  _ ‘Hey, Kanan. Long time no see.’  _ The kid seemed to find this disproportionately funny for some reason, and Kanan could almost hear him giggling through the bond. He wasn't sure which one of them the heady euphoria was coming from, but it made him want to laugh hysterically. 

He settled for a grin instead and projected every emotion he'd just spent the last several minutes trying to get rid of through the bond, as well as an overwhelming amount of love and the words,  _ ‘you are so grounded, kiddo.’ _

A rush of emotion shot through Ezra's side of the bond: guilt, shame, love, and most of all a desperate wish to be forgiven, with an undercurrent of fear that he wouldn't be. Kanan barely managed not to scoff at the ridiculous notion of him not forgiving his kid, and sent through a wave of forgiveness and reassurance before someone decided to slap him in the face.

His eyes flew open as he snapped out of his Force trance. Hera was right in front of him, glaring at him with enough heat to melt durasteel, but he could feel her fear through the Force because  _ he hadn't been responding, he'd been screaming and then it stopped and he wasn't waking up and now he was smiling and was something wrong or very, very right? _

Beside her, Ahsoka was kneeling, concern obvious on her face and in her posture. Her hands were resting close to her ‘sabers, a sure sign that she was scared. Behind both of them, Sabine and Chopper stood in the doorway, looking on with obvious concern. Zeb was at his back, supporting him to keep him from falling over again.

“Be glad that worked. I was gonna try next,” the Lasat said when he noticed that Kanan was back with them. 

Hera scowled. “What happened, Kanan? You were screaming and then you weren't and you were  _ grinning _ , what the kriff just happened?”

Kanan sat back, exhausted from the ordeal and dizzy with the relief that having his bond with Ezra back had brought. “I'm okay,” he managed, his voice hoarse. Stars, he must have been screaming loud. No wonder the others were scared.

Hera snorted. “No, you're not. Ahsoka, how did you describe it?”

The Togruta pursed her lips, not happy about either the situation or the fact that Hera had put her on the spot. “Like something was Force-choking your mind. Honestly, Kanan, there's no way you're ‘okay.’”

“No,” he huffed as he tried to get his feet under him. “But I will be.”

“Woah, woah, woah, don't get up, mate,” Zeb protested. “Tell us what just happened.”

Kanan huffed and sat back. “It's… complicated.” As he said it, he felt Ezra poking at the bond, trying to see if he was okay. Kanan barely resisted the urge to grin and shot him a quick, ‘ _ maybe don't do that again, kid. Hera's worried, now.’ _

A thrill of amusement rang through, and Ezra sent back, ‘ _ did she slap you?’ _

‘ _ Yup.’ _ Kanan replied before returning his focus to the conversation in front of him.

Ahsoka was giving him an odd look, like she was trying to decipher a puzzle. “Complicated, how? Are you okay or not?”

“Would you even believe me if I said I was?” He retorted.

She shrugged. “Maybe, if you tell us what was wrong in the first place.”

Kanan hesitated. ‘ _ Do you want me to tell them about you? That you're back, I mean. We all saw your message.`  _ He paused. ‘ _ That  _ **_was_ ** _ you, right?’ _

Pride infused Ezra's reply. ‘ _ Yeah, that was me. Didn't want the Empire knowing it was, though, or I wouldn't have used the voice scrambler. And… if you think they'll believe you, then tell them.’ _

Well, that was helpful. Zeb and Sabine would think he was imagining things, and Hera probably would, too. Ahsoka might believe him if he showed her the bond, but telling the others would only make them worry. Finally he settled for saying, “It was a Force thing. I'll be fine. Ahsoka can stay, she'll understand, but the rest of you should get back to whatever you were doing.”

His tone was dismissive enough that Sabine, Chopper, and Hera all backed off. Before leaving, though, the Twi'lek glanced back at him. 

“Don't start shutting us out again, Kanan. We're in this together. That's what family means.”

With a glance at Ahsoka, which clearly translated to  _ find out what just happened and don't take no for an answer,  _ she left, leaving Ahsoka and Zeb alone with Kanan. Kanan reached up and braced himself on the Lasat's muscular arm so he could haul himself to his feet, ignoring Zeb's noise of protest as he hobbled over to his bed.

Ahsoka sat next to him and, meeting Zeb's eyes, nodded her head towards the door in a clear dismissal. He grumbled, but complied, closing the door behind him.

Now that they were alone, Kanan let himself relax on the bed, the tension that had been in his posture since Ezra had reached out to him finally bleeding out. Ahsoka turned to face him on the bed, crossing her long legs under her.

After a moment of silence, she leaned forward. “Alright, spill. What happened? And don't try to brush this off. Out of everyone on the crew, I'm going to understand the best.”

Kanan sighed and finally let the smile he'd been holding back split his face. “I felt him, Ahsoka. He's alive. He was just reestablishing our bond, I'm not hurt. He's  _ okay _ , Ahsoka. He's okay.”

Ahsoka straightened, clearly not expecting the flood of emotions he was projecting or the words he was saying. “He's… Ezra? He's  _ alive _ ?!”

Through their Force bond, Kanan could feel Ezra's curiosity as to why Kanan was suddenly projecting again.  _ ‘You're telling someone, aren't you? _ ’ Ezra asked grudgingly, and Kanan rolled his eyes.

‘ _ Yeah, Ahsoka. She wasn't going to let this go.’ _

A wave of apology washed through the bond, before suddenly joy and relief. ‘ _ Ahsoka's okay? She's not hurt or anything?’ _

Kanan chuckled at the kid's hurried questions. ‘ _ She's fine, Ezra. Malachor was months ago.’  _ He glanced at the Togruta, who was giving him a funny look. ‘ _ Although she probably thinks I'm crazy. I'll get back to you in a minute, I need to finish explaining things to her real quick.’ _

He got the impression that Ezra was smirking wryly, and a feeling of understanding echoed from Ezra's end of the bond. ‘ _ Sure thing. I'm not going anywhere.’ _

The double meaning of the statement made Kanan's heart stutter, and he took a quick breath to purge the emotions that it produced. Straightening, he met Ahsoka's worried eyes and gave her a wry grin that no doubt matched Ezra's from a moment before. “Sorry. He's being talkative.”

Ahsoka's brow markings shot up and emotions sparkled in her blue eyes. “You're talking to him? He's okay? You're sure it's him?”

Kanan held up a hand to forestall any further questions. “Yes, I'm talking to him. He's fine, and of course I'm sure it's him. I think I know what my Padawan's mind feels like.”

Ahsoka took a deep breath, shuddered, then clapped a hand over her mouth as a sob tore from her. Kanan started. The usually composed Togruta was shaking apart on his bunk, tears streaming down her face.

After a minute or two, she glanced up to meet his eyes and managed a quiet, “How?”

Kanan shrugged. “I don't know. I just know it's him, he's okay, and he doesn't blame us. Any of us.” He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. “Especially not you.”

Ahsoka took a deep breath and nodded. “Do you know where he is? Can we go get him?”

Kanan hesitated. “He's on Lothal, but I'll have to ask him about meeting up.” At her nod, he closed his eyes. ‘ _ Ahsoka wants to know if we can go get you.’ _

‘ _ Just Ahsoka?’  _ was Ezra's snarky reply. Kanan huffed and sent fond exasperation through the bond. Ezra's amusement echoed through, with an undercurrent of longing. No, longing wasn't the right word. The right word was homesickness. ‘ _ Please come get me.’  _ Kanan wanted to cry at Ezra's reply.  _ ‘I miss you guys so much _ .’ 

Tears picked Kanan's eyes as he quickly sent through the words, ‘ _ will do, kiddo. Just stay where you are.’ _

Opening his eyes, he unfolded his legs and swung off the bed, offering Ahsoka a grin and a supporting arm. “C'mon. We need to tell the others to set course for Lothal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As if I was actually going to leave him dead. This is a time travel FIX-IT, after all, I wasn't about to leave things worse than I found them.  
> Yet, anyway.


	3. Moving

The others were less enthusiastic about the plan.

“You wanna go where because  _ who _ told you to do  _ what _ ?” Zeb asked incredulously. 

Kanan met the Lasat's luminous green eyes with a huff, annoyed that he was having to repeat himself. “I was in contact with the Jedi who sent the transmission, and he wants to meet up on Lothal.”

“Right,” Zeb drawled. “He just wants to meet up for a nice cup of caf and talk about the weather. Am I the only one that thinks this reeks of a trap?”

Ahsoka pursed her lips, but said nothing, leaving Kanan to explain. “It was a mind-to-mind conversation. He couldn't have lied to me if he wanted to, or I would have been able to tell. So, no, it's not a trap. I understand that going back to Lothal isn't going to be easy, but this could change the tide of the war. I can  _ feel _ it.”

Sabine leaned forward with a frown. “How do you know he’s a Jedi? He had a red blade, it could have been an Inquisitor, or a Sith, or-” 

“Or a red lightsaber was the only one he could get his hands on,” Kanan pointed out. “It’s not like anyone has kyber crystals just lying around, he might have had to scavenge.” He wouldn’t deny that the question was nagging at him, but it was  _ Ezra. _ If the others knew that, they wouldn’t think there was even the possibility of him being a Dark Side user, not for one second. He brushed aside the memory of finding the Sith holocron partially open in Ezra’s quarters. Kanan had done better by Ezra this time around, he refused to believe he could have Fallen.

In the pilot's seat, Hera sighed. “The  _ thing _ that happened, was that him? Was he trying to communicate with you?”

“Yes,” Kanan braced his hands on his knees as he leaned back, trying to appear casual. If they didn't buy this, he'd have to explain everything else, and he was fairly certain they wouldn't believe him.

Sabine tensed at his response. “He assaulted your mind violently enough to make you scream your head off, and you want to meet up with him?” She turned to Ahsoka. “Are we sure his head is on right? Because this stinks of a bad idea.”

Ahsoka gave a tired half-smile. Her emotions were still drained from the breakdown she'd had earlier, and her eyes were still red-rimmed. “Yes, I'm sure he's fine, and I agree with him. The message was clearly against the Empire, and if he was powerful enough to reach Kanan from across the galaxy, we could use his help.”

“Assuming he actually wants to help.” Zeb grumbled. “As I recall, the last person to hijack Imperial transmissions to send messages of hope tried to stab us in the back.”

“As I recall, the last person to hijack Imperial transmissions to send messages of hope was Ezra.” Kanan retorted. 

Zeb looked down at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.”

Sabine scowled. “Still, Zeb raises a good point. Considering how long the transmission went on, he had to have had some sort of inside help to keep the Empire from kicking him off the airwaves. That doesn't make you suspicious at all?”

Kanan raised a hand to stop further protest. “It's not a trap. This is genuine, and the Force is telling me I should trust this guy. Even then, I'm not asking you to trust  _ him _ , I'm asking you to trust  _ me. _ Can you do that?” He met Hera's eyes, knowing that if could sway her, the rest of the crew would have to follow.

After a minute of silent eye contact, Hera sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Fine. But I reserve the right to say I told you so if this does come back to bite us.”

Kanan barely suppressed a grin, which was harder when Sabine sighed and flopped down in the seat she'd unofficially claimed as hers.

“Well, I suppose someone has to watch your back,” she grumbled.

Zeb sighed. “I still think this is a bad idea.”

Hera nodded in agreement, even as she reached for the comlink to contact Commander Sato. 

After a brief explanation that they were going to find the Force-sensitive who'd sent the message, the crew of the  _ Ghost _ buckled in for the jump to hyperspace.

‘ _ Just a little bit longer, Ezra.’  _ Kanan sent over the bond. ‘ _ We're coming.’ _

_______

“We're coming up on Lothal,” Hera's voice broke through Kanan's meditation. He had been sitting on his bunk, focusing on his bond with Ezra. Neither of them had really been saying anything, just holding each other close in their minds. Part of it was that Kanan just wanted to appreciate the feeling of Ezra's Force signature; part of it was that Kanan had no idea what to say to him, and he probably wouldn't until he saw him face-to-face. Opening his eyes and gently reducing his hold on the bond, Kanan noted how wary Hera looked, like she was waiting for the trap to be sprung. 

He sighed and stood up, following her into the cockpit, where the rest of the crew except Ahsoka were waiting. Taking the copilot's seat, Kanan focused on the blue and green world in front of them. Beside him, Hera began making preparations to enter atmo. A tense silence filled the air as the ship hurtled towards the planet, broken only when Hera asked, “Where should we land?”

Kanan closed his eyes. To the others, he looked like was sensing where on the planet their contact was waiting for them, but in reality he was reaching through the bond to talk to Ezra. ‘ _ Where should we land?’ _

A feeling of joy and nervous anticipation permeated the bond. ‘ _ Uh, dunno, hadn't exactly thought that far ahead. You pick.’ _

The last statement was phrased almost like a question, and Kanan felt his lips twitch towards something resembling a smile. Force, he'd forgotten how much this kid made him laugh. ‘ _ Okay…. Remember that field where I taught you to deflect blaster bolts with a lightsaber?’ _

_ ‘Yeah, and I had a vision and passed out in the middle of a training session?’  _ Ezra sounded both amused and embarrassed, as if something that happened years ago still made him blush. 

_ ‘That's the place. Think you can make it?’  _ Kanan didn't have to explain why he thought it was a good place. It was far enough from civilization to avoid Imperial involvement, and open enough to not make the others suspect an ambush.

An affirmative wave washed through the bond, and Kanan opened his eyes. Reaching over to the navicomputer, he entered the coordinates and nodded at Hera, who took a deep breath as if to prepare herself before guiding the ship to the surface of the planet.

Kanan helped Hera with the landing as the other clustered in the cargo hold, getting ready. As she fiddled with the controls, he sat back, staring out the window. Ezra wasn't here yet; Kanan could tell. Sure, he had no idea where on the planet Ezra had been when they agreed on a meeting place, but still, Kanan couldn't help the worry that shot through him, making his gut churn. The kid had a nasty habit of getting hurt, even when Kanan was around.

He jumped slightly when Hera put her hand on his shoulder. She could tell he was worried, although she probably thought he was worried about the wrong thing. “It's not too late to back out, if you think this is a bad idea.” She whispered.

Kanan shook his head. “I'm more worried that something's going to happen to him on the way here than what he'll do when he gets here.” He glanced at her, noting her pursed lips and drawn brow. “Hey. Just trust me. I know you're worried, but I promise, I know what I'm doing.”

Hera sighed and sat back in her chair. “I do trust you, Kanan, but you're not telling me something. You get practically attacked, and now you're dashing off to meet him-” She suddenly tensed and sat forward, meeting Kanan's eyes with something between fear and hope. “Kanan. This person, have you met him before?”

Kanan hesitated, debating whether or not to tell the truth. Finally he sighed, deflating slightly. “Yeah. Yeah, I've met him.”

He heard Hera inhale sharply. After a moment of silence, she asked softly, “Have I met him?”

He didn't answer, just stared at his boots for a minute before standing and going to the cargo hold. The others were gathered there, even Ahsoka. As Kanan marched past them, Zeb holstered his bo-rifle and Sabine grabbed a bunch of detonators. He had to resist the urge to groan. 

“No weapons,” he insisted as he moved to open the door. “We won't need them.”

Behind him, he heard Zeb ask, “Is he crazy? He don't even have his lightsaber.”

Ahsoka answered. “He's right. No weapons.” She paused as he made his way down the ramp, then she added, “and let him go alone. This is something he needs to do.”

He ignored the scoffs of disbelief behind him and walked out into the field, only stopping when he was far enough away for the  _ Ghost _ crew to see him, but not hear him. Kneeling slowly, he sank into meditation to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my original idea for this, Hera didn't figure it out, but then I started writing it and it just sort of... happened. 'Cuz, you know, she's smart and stuff.  
> Next part will have Ezra in it, I promise!


	4. Meeting

He had sunk deep enough into the Force that he didn't notice the speeder until the person on it had powered it down and dismounted.

“Kanan?”

The Jedi's eyes snapped open at the familiar though slightly nervous voice, and he started to get up. “Ezra?” He got to his feet and turned around to see the young man- still a boy, really- who had sent the message. He was wearing the same clothes, sans mask so Kanan could see his features.

It was obviously him. His face was a little thinner, and there were stress lines that hadn't been there six months ago, but the smile was still the same, if a little more cautious. He still had the twin scars on his left cheek, and his hair was darker, nearly black, and longer, brushing his shoulders. That wasn't what caught Kanan's attention, though. What caught his attention were his once deep blue eyes.

Eyes that were now a milky white, the result of a scar that ran from his right eyebrow to his left cheekbone.

“Ezra….” Kanan tried to swallow back his horror at the fact that his student couldn't see. He knew firsthand how terrible that kind of injury was. Reaching forward, he cupped Ezra’s face gently, the feeling of warm skin beneath his fingertips grounding him, telling him that yes, he was here, even if he wasn’t quite whole.

Ezra just grinned, practically vibrating in place with relief and joy. “Wow, I must look worse than I thought.”

Kanan choked back a sob, grinning despite himself. “You've definitely looked better.” The smile slipped from his face and he pulled Ezra forward, pressing his forehead against his Padawan’s. “Ezra… I am so sorry. I shouldn't have left, I should have stayed with you and made sure-”

Ezra cut him off. “It wasn't your fault. If you'd stayed with me, it would be you in this position.”

Kanan clenched his jaw. “It should have been me in that position.” Shuddering, he pushed back the memories of the red blade, the searing pain, and the paralyzing terror of being blinded. 

Ezra shook his head, pulling back slightly so he could meet Kanan’s eyes. “No, it shouldn't have. Trust me, I'd be thinking the same thing if it had been.”

Kanan wanted to protest, but shut his mouth, dropping his hand from Ezra’s face. After a moment, he asked the question he'd been wondering about since he'd found out that Ezra was alive. “How did you survive? I felt pain and fear and then the bond snapped and the temple collapsed. How did you walk away from that?”

Ezra shrugged. “I didn't walk away, per se. Maul- that Zabrak Sith? You remember him?- he, um, he did  _ this, _ ” he gestured to his face, “and then clapped some sort of manacle on my arm. Later he told me it was an old Sith artifact, designed to cut off your connection to the Force, including bonds. Anyway, he dragged me off after grabbing the Sith holocron. We got away before the temple blew.”

Kanan frowned. “And he’s had you this whole time?”

Ezra shifted his weight back on one foot and crossed his arms defensively, like he was expecting a rebuke. “Not exactly. I got away a couple weeks ago. I couldn't find you guys, so I had to find a way to get your attention.”

Kanan gave a watery grin. “I'm pretty sure you got more than just our attention.”

Ezra looked up, focusing on a point just to the right of Kanan's eyes. “You're not mad? You know, that I didn't find you sooner or escape sooner or-”

“ _ Ezra _ . You did the best you could. And honestly, I'm still mostly processing the fact that you're here at all. None of this was your fault.” 

“But-”

“No.” Kanan cut in, reaching out to rest his hand on Ezra's shoulder in a familiar comforting gesture. “Unless you chose to disappear on us for months and let us think you were dead, this isn't your fault. I will never blame you for this.”

Ezra shuddered, lowering his gaze to the ground. “I’m still sorry,” he whispered. Kanan rolled his eyes and pulled Ezra into his arms. The kid buried his face in Kanan's shoulder and clung on tight, as if Kanan was the only safe place left in the galaxy, and Kanan took a shuddering breath as he tried to blink the tears away. 

It hit him, then, as he held Ezra in his arms. He was alive. The kid he'd mourned, had thought was long dead, was alive, was  _ here, _ living and breathing and not hating Kanan for dragging him into a war that had permanently scarred him, both mentally and physically. 

He took another deep breath, and lost control of his tears. As a sob tore from his mouth, he pulled Ezra in tighter and buried his face in the kid's neck.

They stayed like that for several minutes before Kanan finally relaxed his grip a little. Ezra seemed to take that as his cue to let go, and Kanan let him. Wiping his eyes, he gave Ezra a watery smile before slinging an arm over his shoulder.

“C'mon, kid. The others are probably scared witless.”

Ezra laughed. “I can't imagine anything scaring Hera witless.”

Kanan winced a bit as he remembered his last conversation with the Twi'lek. “Me, neither. I'm pretty sure she's figured it out, by the way. So you should be prepared-” He cut himself off when he noticed the green-skinned figure running from the  _ Ghost  _ toward them. “Oh, kriff. She's coming.”

Ezra grinned and elbowed him in the ribs, a sly look on his face. “Don't let her hear you using that kind of language around me. Remember, I'm  _ impressionable. _ ” As Kanan snorted, Ezra took off towards the approaching Twi'lek. Kanan chased after them, smiling as Ezra practically threw himself into Hera's arms. She was sobbing and he was laughing, and they were both babbling reassurances to each other in a way that made Kanan's heart ache.

As he came up behind them, Hera pulled her face away enough to meet Kanan's eyes, silently begging him not to let this be a dream. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around the two, his surrogate son and the woman he loved. They were all quivering with emotion. 

Hera let out a small laugh of relief and joy. “I can't believe you're here. Kanan didn't tell me-” She pulled away and instantly her voice died in her throat as she actually took in his face. Took in his clouded white eyes.

Ezra was still smiling, either ignoring or ignorant of her horrified expression. “Yeah, I don't think he thought you'd believe him. Not that I blame him. I wouldn't have believed it, either.”

Hera pressed her hand to his cheek and brushed the tip of the scar across his eyes with her thumb. “Ezra, your eyes….”

His smile turned from sunny to gentle. “Yeah, I know. I'm okay, though. Really.”

After a moment, she shook herself out of her horrified stupor and stepped back. “Okay.” She squeezed his hand before casting a glare over his shoulder at Kanan. “And don't think I've forgotten about you, mister. You're getting an earful for lying later.”

Kanan's grin practically split his face. “Hey, I never lied. There were some half-truths in there, but I never lied.”

She sent him a playful glare before looping her arm around Ezra's waist. Kanan wrapped his arm around Ezra's shoulders from the other side, and together, they guided him to the ship. As Hera filled him in on goings-on on the ship, Kanan marveled at how sure Ezra's step was. He didn't hesitate, stumble, or reach out with a hand to catch himself in case he fell. In fact, if Kanan couldn't see the horrific scar on the kid's face, he never would have guessed that he was blind.

Zeb was waiting for them at the base of the ramp, pacing back and forth. He looked up as they approached and Kanan saw relief flashed across his face as he saw that both Jedi and Captain were alright. Then confusion, as he noticed how close they were holding the stranger they'd met. Then, finally, heartbreaking grief and disbelieving hope as he placed the face of the person they were with.

“Kid?” Zeb's voice was shaking. At Ezra's grin, a laugh escaped the Lasat's mouth, and suddenly the three of them were being tackled to the ground by a wall of purple fur. 

“I can't believe it! You're alive! But how'd you get outta that? Kanan was sure-”

Ezra patted Zeb on the back before interrupting him. “Yeah, yeah, tell you later, right now  _ I can't breathe. _ ” 

Zeb huffed as he pulled away. “C'mon, kid, I don't smell that bad.”

“No, but you do weigh that much,” Ezra retorted teasingly before turning his gaze up to Zeb and extending a hand, silently asking for him to pull him up. However, the moment Zeb could see his face, he froze, his ears lying flat on his skull. Ezra seemed to ignore the Lasat's reaction and waved his hand a little more insistently.

“Zeb,” Kanan said as he pulled Hera back to her feet. “Help him up, would you?”

Zeb blinked, glanced at Kanan's face, then cleared his throat. “Right, um. Sorry.” He took Ezra's hand with surprising gentleness and hesitantly pulled him to his feet.

Ezra grinned and lightly punched Zeb's arm. “Hey, I'm not fragile. You don't have to be so careful.”

Zeb rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the ground instead of at Ezra. “Yeah, I know, I just… I hadn't noticed your, um, your eyes.”

Ezra shrugged nonchalantly, crossing his arms. “It's okay. No one does at first.”

At his words, Zeb flinched. “No, it's not okay, you got hurt and none of us were there- oh, karabast, you can't even  _ see, _ can you?”

Ezra looked down at the ground and swallowed. “No.”

The single word made all three of them flinch, because Ezra said it in a voice that was so resigned and defeated that it made Kanan's heart shatter just a little bit more. He stepped forward and put his hand on the kid's shoulder, squeezing it slightly on a gesture of comfort.

“It'll be okay. I promise. We're all here now, we'll help you. Always.” 

Ezra turned his eyes up to meet Kanan's, and smiled softly. “I know.” He then glanced past Zeb and grinned. “Hey, Sabine.”

The other three turned to see the Mandalorian frozen at the top of the ramp, staring hard at Ezra like she was afraid he'd vanish. After a moment, she found her voice. “Am I dreaming?”

Ezra grinned brightly. “Do you dream about me often?” He asked in a teasing voice, before bracing himself and catching the armful of colorfully armored teenager that flung herself at him.

As Sabine sobbed into the crook of his neck- and Force, was Ezra taller than Sabine now?- Zeb guffawed and wrapped the teenagers in a massive hug, which Kanan and Hera promptly joined.

A minute later, Chopper came zipping down the ramp, squawking with excitement at seeing the last member of his crew come home at last. He had, he announced as he rammed into Ezra's legs, deduced that there was a 76 percent chance that Ezra had been the messenger that had upset his crew so much. He then promptly began berating Ezra for causing so much trouble, as if Chopper hadn't nearly completely shut down from grief in the month or two directly after Malachor. Ahsoka joined in a few minutes later, smiling and laughing despite the tears on her face.

Kanan laughed, too, his arms full of his family for the first time in months, and at that moment, the galaxy seemed a little bit brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! He's back! And everyone gets hugs!  
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	5. Memory

A few hours later, when everyone had mostly calmed down and stopped pinching themselves, the crew gathered in the common room in an eerily similar setup to last time, only now, Kanan and Ezra were both sitting on the crash couch, and the whole crew were fixated on Ezra's words, rather than the words of a masked figure. 

"I told Kanan the basics already, but since most of you weren't on Malachor, I'll fill you in. 

"After the three of us and Maul had driven off the Inquisitors, I decided to take Maul with me to activate the temple. I thought it might give us knowledge to help destroy the Sith, but as soon as I activated the weapon, Maul attacked me. He hit my lightsaber and I think it fell off the temple. I'm not sure. Right after that, he… um, well, he hit me in the face with his 'saber." Zeb hissed, and pretty much everyone winced. 

After a moment, Ezra continued. "I don't really remember much after that, just the sensation of being cut off from the Force, which, trust me, is even less fun than it sounds. He made me grab the holocron with him- I'm not sure why he decided to leave instead of taking the temple for himself, but I’d guess it was because Vader was coming.

"When I woke up, Maul had taken me somewhere. I'm still not entirely sure where it was, we moved around a lot. He kept… he kept trying to turn me to the Dark Side. He wanted me to be his apprentice." As he said it, Ezra looked down at the ground- or, well, turned his face in that direction. Something similar to shame and disgust flitted across his face, and Kanan felt self-loathing filter through the bond. 

Gently, he wrapped his arm around the trembling kid's shoulder, sending love and reassurance through the bond. Ezra looked up towards him, gratitude on his face. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"I didn't. Fall to the Dark Side, I mean. But that’s why I have a red lightsaber. It was the only one he gave me, and I haven’t exactly had an opportunity to change it out, and I don’t know how to purify the crystal.” He turned his face toward Ahsoka, who nodded before catching herself.

“I’ll show you how, if you’d like.”

“Thanks,” Ezra said before clearing his throat and continuing. “Eventually, Maul got frustrated and tried to punish me during lightsaber practice. I saw an opportunity, and… well, it was an accident, but I-I killed him." Ezra was looking down at the ground again. 

"We were on Balmorra, I think. I managed to find a spaceport and snuck aboard a ship to Corellia, where I found passage to Lothal. Not much to tell after that. I found Ryder- oh, yeah, sorry, I had to tell him, so you guys are technically  _ second _ to know I'm back. But in my defense, I couldn't find you guys, and I wasn't about to hire someone to take me to Atollon. 

"Hence the message. I was hoping it'd get Kanan curious enough to go poking in the Force, so I could connect to him and reforge our Force bond. After that, I was just gonna wing it."

"Like usual," Sabine teased with a grin.

Ezra nodded. "Well, I can't exactly deny that. How about you guys? How were things?"

Zeb snorted. "Too quiet, kid. We missed you. Hell, I think this is only the second mission Kanan's been allowed on."

Ezra whipped around towards Kanan, confusion on his face. "What? Why?"

Kanan sighed and looked down. "I… wasn't in the best place mentally for months. I didn't try to do anything stupid, but I was distracted, unfocused. I could have been a danger if I'd been on missions more complicated than escort-"

He suddenly cut himself off, meeting Hera's eyes with panic, because  _ oh, kriff, how were they supposed to tell him about his parents? For that matter, how were they supposed to tell his parents about him? _

Ezra prodded him gently via the Force bond. "Kanan? You okay?"

He blinked and tore his gaze away from Hera's equally worried face. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just… " 

Thankfully, Hera stepped in, using the gentle voice she used when she was either trying to deliver bad news or keep someone from panicking. "Ezra, there's something we have to tell you. It's about your parents."

Ezra visibly deflated. "They're dead, aren't they," he said with a flat voice.

Hera jolted, looking worried that that was his immediate assumption. "No, Ezra, honey, they're actually alive." Ezra's head jerked up, his body tensing like he'd been struck by lightning. Over the bond, Kanan could sense his disbelief. Hera continued. "They arrived on Chopper Base just a couple months ago. They're safe, and they miss you. When they heard that you were gone… Ezra, they love you, and they're waiting for you to come home."

Ezra just kind of blinked for a moment, stunned, before saying softly, "I am home. And you guys are family, too. But… can we go see them?"

Kanan laughed. "Of course, kid."

** _______ **

Kanan expected to fall asleep quickly that night, have a nightmare that the day's events were all a dream or hallucination, and then wake up and meditate outside Zeb and Ezra's room for the rest of the night. What actually happened was much different.

Kanan was tossing and turning, trying to find that one comfortable position that had apparently decided to abandon him, and trying to get his brain to shut up. It was the last part that was giving him the most trouble.

The thought that was screaming the loudest in his mind was  _ it should have been me. _ Because in another timeline, it had been him. He'd been blinded by Maul, been absent for six months, then come back to find his family somehow different but the same. It wasn't fair that Ezra had to go through all of that, because of him. He'd had to learn how to navigate blind, how to fight, how to read situations, how to  _ see _ , without the use of his eyes. And without Kanan. 

It wasn't fair that because of Kanan, the whole crew of the  _ Ghost _ , and all of Chopper Base, had spent six months thinking Ezra was dead. It wasn't fair that Ezra had spent six months being brainwashed by a former Sith. It wasn't fair that Ezra had just forgiven him, like Kanan hadn't stolen six months of the kid's life and his sight, by his own selfish actions. 

Kanan rolled onto his back with a groan. Staring up at the bottom of the bunk above him, he tried to sink into some form of meditation, hoping it would calm his thoughts, but annoyingly enough, his thoughts wouldn't let him meditate. With another huff, he flopped onto his side with his back to the door and closed his eyes. He was about to give up and spend the night doing something productive instead when someone knocked on his door.

Sitting up with a sigh, he called softly, "Come in," figuring it was either Hera, hoping they could sleep together, or-

Ezra stepped through the open door, looking sheepish. "Sorry, I know you were trying to sleep, but… could we talk?"

Kanan nodded. "It's alright, Ezra. I wasn't sleeping, and of course we can talk. C'mere." He patted the bed beside him, aware that Ezra would use the sound as a guide. As the teenager cautiously crossed the room, Kanan folded his legs underneath him. 

Ezra mirrored his position, tapping his fingers against his knee in a random pattern. For a minute he didn't say anything, and Kanan just watched him, memorizing his face as best he could in the dim lighting. Finally, Ezra shifted uncomfortably and sighed.

"I'm not really sure where to start." He said softly.

Kanan leaned back against the wall. "The beginning's usually a good spot."

Ezra huffed a laugh. "Yeah, but that's the hard part. I'm not really sure what qualifies as the beginning." He looked up at Kanan, his expression somewhere between earnest and desperate. "Just- what I'm about to tell you, I swear it's the truth. I wouldn't make something like this up, but it's kind of crazy."

Kanan nodded. "Sounds like our normal lives."

Ezra gave another dry laugh. "Yeah, but somehow this is weirder. Like, I don't think there's anything in the history of  _ ever _ that compares to how crazy this is going to sound."

Kanan smirked and thought,  _ well, I've died and woken up a good three and a half years in the past. What could be weirder than that?  _ Out loud, he said, "Try me."

Ezra inhaled slowly, then blurted, "I died and woke up three and a half years in the past."

Kanan froze. Blinked. Then managed,  _ "What? _ "

Ezra had his gaze fixed firmly on the bed in front of him. "I swear I wouldn't make this up. You remember back on my fifteenth birthday, when the Inquisitor chased us to the abandoned base and I ended up in a coma for a couple weeks? When I woke up, you thought I'd had a bad vision, but I actually saw- and experienced- the next three and a half years."

Kanan stared at him, struggling to form a coherent thought. Finally, he managed to ask, "Why're you telling me this now? That was nearly two years ago."

Guilt flitted across Ezra's face. "I didn't want you to blame yourself for Malachor. It wasn't your fault, I knew what happened the last time around. That's why I insisted that Maul came with me and  _ stayed _ with me. I knew that if he went back to ‘help’ you, then-"

"Then I'd be the one blinded and Ahsoka would be dead." Kanan finished for him. 

Ezra straightened. "Yeah. How'd you…" He trailed off as Kanan stood and started pacing around his room, trying to bleed off some of the energy that was pulsing through his veins so that his thoughts would slow down enough for them to make any kind of sense.

That was the problem, though. What Ezra was telling him made perfect sense, and absolutely no sense at all. He remembered the incident that Ezra claimed had started it all--remembered how differently it went even though he did everything the exact same way. He remembered how afterwards, Ezra had improved by leaps and bounds, with almost no explanation. He also remembered how some events that he'd had no part in had changed significantly.

As the pieces clicked into place, he muttered, "I can't believe I didn't put it together sooner."

On the bed, Ezra raised an eyebrow in a very Hera-like gesture. "Uh, because time travel is a really weird idea and not gonna be a conclusion that sane people jump to immediately?"

Kanan huffed. "Sane people? Probably not. But a fellow time traveler? I should have seen it."

Ezra straightened, blinked, then frowned. "Kanan?"

Sitting back on the bed, Kanan sighed. "A few days before we met- in this timeline, at any rate- I woke up in the cockpit. Apparently I'd passed out, but the only thing I remember before that," he looked Ezra in the eye, "was the fuel pod exploding."

Ezra hissed, his eyes wide. "So you…." He cut himself off with a disbelieving laugh and ran a hand through his hair. And stars, the kid needed a haircut. "That happened just a couple weeks before I woke up here, for me. I can't believe it…"

Kanan grinned. "You'd better." They sat in silence for a minute, processing, before Kanan spoke up again. "We should compare notes. Make sure we’re remembering the same timeline, then figure out what we've changed, and how that's going to change future events. And maybe you can fill me in on what happened after the explosion."

Ezra looked up. "The one on Malachor or the one on Lothal?"

Kanan swatted his head, rolling his eyes. "Smart alack."

Ezra smiled, then a thought seemed to occur to him. "How much do you think we can change without changing other things?"

Kanan shrugged. "Depends. What are you not wanting to change?"

Ezra rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, I'd really like to actually get to meet you and Hera's kid this time."

Kanan grinned. "How'd you find out?"

"Wait, you knew?" Ezra looked up, startled, then sighed. "Of course you knew. I could tell through the Force. And I kind of had to leave before I got to meet him. Hera wasn't even showing yet."

Kanan sat forward. "What happened? Why'd you leave and how'd you…" He didn't finish the sentence, but he felt Ezra send waves of reassurance through their Force bond.

The kid grimaced, though, like the memory was unpleasant. "We tried to clear the Imps off of Lothal, and nearly succeeded when Thrawn showed up. He gave me an ultimatum: surrender myself or he'd bombard the planet. I surrendered, then broke out and confronted him on the bridge. Hera and Sabine had gotten the shield over Capital City up, and I'd had some of the others bring the purgils to Lothal. Thrawn couldn't use his leverage, and the purgils attached themselves to the ship. Last thing I remember was using the Force to hold Thrawn in place, so he couldn't escape, telling Hera and Sabine goodbye, and then the purgils jumping into hyperspace."

Kanan was pressing his fingers into his eyes by the time Ezra was finished. "You didn't try to  _ escape _ ?" He demanded.

Ezra just shrugged. "It was my time. I freed Lothal, and I'd saved Ahsoka. My family-  _ our _ family- would survive. Besides, I had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last time I saw them. Wasn't quite imagining this, though."

Kanan sighed again. "Just… don't do anything like that. Ever. I don't care if you think it's the only way, I've lost you more than enough times. Someday, we're not gonna be lucky enough to get you back."

Ezra reached over and rested his hand on Kanan's shoulder. "I won't. I promise."

Kanan hummed. "What did you mean, you saved Ahsoka?" He asked after a minute.

Ezra grinned. "Mystic Force stuff. I pulled her out of the temple on Malachor through a portal through time." His grin faded. "I wanted to save you, but if I'd pulled you out of that moment in time, the rest of us would have died." He looked down, like he thought he could hide the grief in his eyes. "I had to let you go."

Kanan gently rested his hand on Ezra's shoulder. Softly, he whispered, "I'm proud of you."

Ezra swallowed hard, then turned his face toward Kanan and forced a smile. "So, what's our game plan?"

"Well…."

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, you were all correct. Ezra did time travel as well. And no, Maul will not be bothering them again. As satisfying as it was when Obi-wan killed him, I wanted Ezra to have a turn. Maul put him through a lo of crap in both timelines.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos more than welcome! I'd love to know your reactions.


End file.
